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Sunday, May 14, 2017

Why Mother's Day Isn't All About Me (and why that's okay)

As a child, I loved Mother's Day. A special day I got to show my mom and Grandmas how much I loved them. Now I was homeschooled, so probably failed with that on the mom front a lot. Obviously my mom wasn't going to make cute school crafts for Mother's Day for us to give to her, instead she spent her energy making sure we honored our Grandmothers with special crafts or gifts. She put herself aside and made the day about honoring HER mother and mother in law. I am sure that wasn't always easy when obviously everyone wants a day all about them. But my mom taught me a lot about self sacrifice and honoring others.

That doesn't mean we ignored my mom or didn't celebrate her at all. We all celebrated together. As a family. I loved Mother's Day because it was a day to be together. I got to see my Grandmas, Grandpas and cousins. It was a great family celebration. The dads would all grill or some years we'd just order pizza or chicken. So the moms didn't have to cook, just enjoy the celebration.

I've been so honored to be included in that celebration over the last 10 years since joining them as a mom.

But the internet is a dark and lonely place sometimes. As Mother's Day approaches lately, I find myself becoming agitated and annoyed. The internet tells me that women deserve flowers and gifts and a day all to themselves because it's all about them. It complains about their selfish mothers or mothers in law who want to see their children on this day. I know these are women who are hurting from other experiences and it's just coming out in this way on this day. But it's easy to let it eat away at you. It becomes a day where no one wins, where we tear each other down. Where we compete for who has the best marriage based on how spoiled they were and their facebook photos.Where we compete with who has the worst Mother's Day based on what they didn't get that they deserve. Where those who care about gifts are told they shouldn't and those who don't are told to stop making it all about them.

It makes it hard to find any sort of joy in the day at all.

But that's when I am thankful for my mom. My mom who taught me with her example that it isn't all about me, that I wouldn't be here if not for her and my grandmas who deserve to be celebrated. One day my day will come where my kids and hopefully grandkids gather around to celebrate with me. But until then, I am perfectly fine celebrating with them. We're all in this together. They know better than anyone what it's like. I am so happy to have them as examples in my life of what motherhood is all about.

Happy Mother's Day Mom, and for the gifts you have given ME that will last more than just a day.