Vacation is a time to relax right? This week has been wonderful, but also very stressful, VERY tiring and created a sort of restlessness. I want to relax, but I can't relax. Don't get me wrong, family has been absolutely wonderful at watching the kids so we can ride some rides, hang out in the hot tub. But it's not that sort of relaxation that is missing.
There is a sort of restlessness that I just could not pin point. *Something* was missing. God must have seen how tired and brain dead I was, and figured I would never figure it out on my own. So he gave me a little nudge.
While we were home for a bit on Sunday, in the rush to grab things I forgot to bring, I picked up the first book I saw just in case I had time to sit and read. It's a book I was given to for my graduation from a priest who has since left our parish. I started reading it in college, but school reading and friends and homework quickly got in the way of any reading for pleasure and I haven't picked it up since.
The very first chapter of this book talks about guess what? Restlessness. And how we are all longing for something. Someone. To go somewhere, to be someone great. To make a difference. Something better than what we have. We always want more, no matter how much we have, and how much we achieve in life, it will never be enough.
Basically, we were created with an infinite capacity to love, be loved, to be filled up. But we are living in a finite world where we will never find something that is perfect to completely fill that longing.
But that doesn't mean we should give up. God has his hand in our lives at all times. And if we take a second to look, we will see those glimpses of what we were made for.
So while I'm still restless (and could use a nap more than anything), I'm feeling a little more at peace knowing this is the plan, and that God is showing me those little glimpses of what is to come.