This is my favorite week of the entire year. The culmination of what our faith is and how it changes our lives.
I kind of feel like I have failed when it comes to using the season of Lent to grow. I kept my Lenten sacrifices, I prayed daily as I said I was going to. But I don't feel like I have gone anywhere. It wasn't really a sacrifice, and not even up to par with how I would like my regular daily life to be. I use the excuse of Nathan and not having enough time to do all that I want to when I really have just used that time in other ways. I'm really looking forward to this week as a chance to make a change and renew what it is that I want my faith to be. Basically, I don't think I am reached my goal yet, but I'm not ready to give up. If anything I think that this week will re-charge me to grow during the Easter season.
I cannot wait for the Easter vigil on Saturday. I have been lucky enough to go every year for quite a while now and it's become what Easter really is for me. The music and the darkness into light, bringing forward the water for baptism, watching the excitement of new Catholics receiving the Eucharist for the first time really to me shows why we have Easter. It's so much more than the passion and Jesus rising though that is the most central and important, but it's the small things, the consequences, the changes that took place BECAUSE that happened that really touch me the most. I've always been blessed (though sometimes it feels like a curse) to be given the gift of visible emotion during certain times in prayer, or while at mass. The vigil is always an emotional event for me. It's hard to find words to explain how beautiful it is. We are taking Nathan with us this year. I know it will probably be frustrating for all three of us, but I want this to be part of his tradition one day too. So he can learn that Easter is more than seeing Grandparents and getting candy, more than a day when everyone goes to church, but really a time when we as individuals and as a church are given the chance to renew our baptism completely through Jesus' rising.